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Coercive management UK: Husband who instructed his spouse of 17 years to decorate ‘extra like a lady’ is acquitted

A husband who was accused of home abuse after he requested his spouse to decorate ‘extra like a lady’ has been cleared of wrongdoing after arguing he was solely calling her out over her scruffy clothes.

Paul Marsden, 55, was charged with controlling and coercive behaviour after he berated partner of 17 years Lesley for sporting tatty leggings, denims and T shirts.

Throughout their stormy marriage Marsden instructed his spouse she had fats legs and requested her to put on skirts and take extra satisfaction in her look. 

Wheelchair-bound Marsden, who suffers from osteoporosis and arthritis, confronted as much as 5 years jail if convicted however was discovered not responsible at Manchester Magistrates Courtroom.

Paul Marsden (pictured), 55, was charged with controlling and coercive behaviour after he berated partner of 17 years Lesley for sporting tatty leggings, denims and T shirts

Mrs Marsden has now moved in together with her greatest pal and has not spoken to her husband since June 2020.

The court docket heard the couple, from Rochdale, Manchester, married in 2004, had two youngsters collectively and lived with Marsden’s dad and mom Paul snr and Elaine. 

However Mrs Marsden, additionally in her 50s, claimed the wedding started to deteriorate in 2016 after he refused to let her have contact together with her two youngsters from a earlier relationship.

She mentioned: ‘I had a very good relationship with them however they didn’t hit it off with Paul. My eldest daughter was all the time arguing with him and my son solely stayed now and again. 

‘I requested him if I might see my youngsters on the weekend, however he would say no and he used to examine the cellphone to see who I had been chatting with.’

Mrs Marsden mentioned her husband would accuse her of dishonest on him, name her an unfit mom and accuse her of all the time staying in mattress. She mentioned: ‘It made me really feel horrible and scared.’

She mentioned she used to prepare dinner for her husband, his dad and mom and their two youngsters but when he didn’t prefer it he would throw the meals within the bin.

And every time she went out to the outlets she needed to give him a kiss or face his wrath, the court docket heard. 

‘He would say, “are you not giving me a kiss” and he would say it in a nasty manner. I might by no means have cheated on him,’ she mentioned.

‘I used to put on denims a T-Shirt and a jumper however he would say “you could begin dressing extra like a lady”. He wished me to put on skirts, however I didn’t like sporting them. I didn’t need to dress or exit. I simply felt ashamed of myself.’

She mentioned her tooth have been corroding so she had dentures and her husband would pressure her to put on them. ‘I couldn’t eat with my unique dentures,’ she added. ‘They have been all the time sore. He picked my new ones up and threatened to place them in my mouth. I cooked no matter he wished and what he didn’t need he threw it away.’

And she or he accused her husband of not giving her sufficient cash. ‘He saved me in need of cash, he gave me £30 each fortnight and saved the remainder of his cash in his pocket to purchase beer and pay board to his mum and pa,’ she mentioned. ‘I simply wished to open my very own checking account.’   

Marsden’s mom Elaine mentioned she ‘felt embarrassed’ by the best way her daughter-in-law dressed. Pictured, Manchester Magistrates’ Courtroom

Prosecutor Helena Williams instructed the court docket Marsden wouldn’t let his spouse depart the home and had final management over her life.

Ms Williams mentioned: ‘Paul managed the place she was going and what she was doing. He would say “You aren’t going out, you could take care of me”.

‘On one event, she went to the native store with Paul’s son and when Paul came upon, he accused her of getting an affair. He would say, “You don’t love me” if she didn’t give him a kiss.’

However Marsden denied the allegations, telling the listening to his spouse had both lied or exaggerated her expertise.

He mentioned: ‘Her clothes had holes in it and she or he simply wore leggings. I used to be being sarcastic after I mentioned she ought to gown extra like a lady and I used to be being sarcastic after I instructed Lesley that her legs seemed fats.

‘Her tooth have been rotten into her gums and I wished her to get dentures for her personal hygiene. I by no means mentioned I do not need individuals considering my spouse doesn’t take care of her tooth.’

‘The cash simply got here into my financial institution however I didn’t know the pin quantity and I simply let her do every part. I by no means restricted her entry to the checking account. She received cash each single time off me.’

His mom Elaine Marsden mentioned she ‘felt embarrassed’ by the best way her daughter-in-law dressed.

She added: ‘She all the time had holes in her leggings, it was like she didn’t care. Paul requested her to put on some respectable denims or skirts as a result of he wished her to take satisfaction in herself. She didn’t look very good with holes in her garments and she or he would even put on his garments.’

She mentioned her son gave his spouse his card so she might get cash from the financial institution each two weeks.  ‘I’ve heard him say “how a lot would you like?” and that was sufficient for what she wished.’

Acquitting Marsden, chair of the bench Dr Ahsan Saleem mentioned: ‘There was proof of coercive behaviour however insignificant proof to show there was worry of violence within the day-to-day actions with Mrs Marsden.

‘Subsequently we can not make sure that you engaged in controlling or abusive behaviour. 

‘There was no makes an attempt to contact Mrs Marsden since June and due to the time span because the final contact we don’t really feel it’s essential to impose a restraining order.’ 


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